One of the other concepts that really attracts me is self-disclosure (chapter 2, p.57). According to the author, self-disclosure is ‘revealing information about ourselves that others are unlikely to discover on their own’. Most of the time, this information includes particular feelings, dreams that are important to us, fears we’ve been hiding, secret hopes and much more. Sharing your proper feelings to others helps you to add another perception of who you are and how you feel about it.
There are certainly pros (benefits) and cons (risks) coming with the self-disclosure process. Fortunately, self-disclosure involves more benefits to your self than negative issues.
On p. 58, Julia T. Wood presented a list of benefits which goes like this:
Self-disclosure communication may:
- increase trust (i.e.: You feel your friend is a good person you can put trust in him/her)
- increase closeness (i.e.: Sharing experiences with your friend tend to diminish tensions and create a valuable context for true communication and real friendship)
- enhance self-esteem (i.e.: When communicating your feeling and having feedback from the other you may feel less pressure on your shoulders and change your perception about your problems, etc.)
- increase security (i.e.: Sharing your feelings, especially your doubts and fears helps you stay down-to-earth, realistic and secure)
- enhance self-growth (i.e.: Taking advices and perspectives from others helps you feel better with yourself and it gives you tools to overcome what’s coming up next!)
On the other hand, self-disclosure might imply some risks:
- Others may reject you (i.e.: If someone doesn’t connect with your values or perception, he/she may not understand how you feel and may react in the wrong way. It is important to choose the good person when you reveal yourself)
- Others may think less of you (i.e.: When you reveal yourself, you may change the other’s perception of you and influences it in a bad way, unhappily.)
- Others may violate our confidences (i.e.: Be careful to whom you expose your feelings, there’s a chance they might not be trustworthy people. Choose them carefully.)
But step-by-step communication and with the good people will decrease the risks encounter with self-disclosure. In my personal life, I used to keep all of my feelings (mostly the bad ones and the anxious thoughts) inside. I also had communication issues with some of my particular others because I wouldn’t reveal anything about me. All I was thinking were the risks associated with self-disclosure. It took me time and huge efforts to start sharing some of my feelings with my mom and my best friend. Since then, I know myself a lot better; increase my relationships’ closeness; and I have improved my self-esteem. To help me express my feelings, I even started a blog, few months ago. Even thought some texts are fictive, it helps me to put words on my feelings.
There are certainly pros (benefits) and cons (risks) coming with the self-disclosure process. Fortunately, self-disclosure involves more benefits to your self than negative issues.
On p. 58, Julia T. Wood presented a list of benefits which goes like this:
Self-disclosure communication may:
- increase trust (i.e.: You feel your friend is a good person you can put trust in him/her)
- increase closeness (i.e.: Sharing experiences with your friend tend to diminish tensions and create a valuable context for true communication and real friendship)
- enhance self-esteem (i.e.: When communicating your feeling and having feedback from the other you may feel less pressure on your shoulders and change your perception about your problems, etc.)
- increase security (i.e.: Sharing your feelings, especially your doubts and fears helps you stay down-to-earth, realistic and secure)
- enhance self-growth (i.e.: Taking advices and perspectives from others helps you feel better with yourself and it gives you tools to overcome what’s coming up next!)
On the other hand, self-disclosure might imply some risks:
- Others may reject you (i.e.: If someone doesn’t connect with your values or perception, he/she may not understand how you feel and may react in the wrong way. It is important to choose the good person when you reveal yourself)
- Others may think less of you (i.e.: When you reveal yourself, you may change the other’s perception of you and influences it in a bad way, unhappily.)
- Others may violate our confidences (i.e.: Be careful to whom you expose your feelings, there’s a chance they might not be trustworthy people. Choose them carefully.)
But step-by-step communication and with the good people will decrease the risks encounter with self-disclosure. In my personal life, I used to keep all of my feelings (mostly the bad ones and the anxious thoughts) inside. I also had communication issues with some of my particular others because I wouldn’t reveal anything about me. All I was thinking were the risks associated with self-disclosure. It took me time and huge efforts to start sharing some of my feelings with my mom and my best friend. Since then, I know myself a lot better; increase my relationships’ closeness; and I have improved my self-esteem. To help me express my feelings, I even started a blog, few months ago. Even thought some texts are fictive, it helps me to put words on my feelings.
If you feel like doing so, you may take a look at it by clicking on the link below:
http://etvdmaussiparfois.blogspot.com/
http://etvdmaussiparfois.blogspot.com/
I really enjoy reading your blog! You put very interesting thoughts on it. I either think that the concept of self-disclosure is an attractive one. It’s true that certain risks are coming with the self-disclosure process. I’m happy to learn that you had made a lot of progress concerning sharing some of your feelings with your particular others because, for me, it’s a very important thing.
RépondreSupprimerIn fact, when I look at the four types of information in the Johari Window’s model (page 57 in the book), I recognize that a lot of my information can be located in the open area, the one where information is known both to us and to others. Obviously, I don’t reveal everything about me to people that don’t matter to me. But, in general, I tend to share a lot of things about me to my particular others. I really see it as beneficial for me. I appreciate having feedbacks from others because that helps me to solve my problems and that comfort me about my thoughts. Also, by sharing my feelings, I feel more secure and down-to-earth. I often use self-serving disclosure as a way to evacuate stress. I always feel better after having a deep conversation with someone. Self-disclosure is part of my daily life, even if my boyfriend is sometimes tired of listening to me about how I feel! Haha!
So kind, thank you! :)
RépondreSupprimerReading your comment makes me realize even more how sharing feelings and thoughts can be benefical to yourself. It's true that feedbacks from others help us to comfort us in our thoughts and get another perception on the situation. We should talk more together then! :)
But also, you must not feel angry or that I don't trust you if it happens I don't want to tell you something. It is just all new to me, I still struggle with it at some points. Still, it is good to know that I can always rely on you if I wish to.
You can always rely on me for sure! And you don't have to care about if it's makes me feel angry or not! I do understand that not everybody is comfortable with talking about their deep feelings. You'll stay one of my particular others no matter what! ;P
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