Communicating emotions effectively is not something very natural and easy for some people. Considering myself not very skilful at expressing my inner emotions, I completely understand the reasons we may not express emotions described by Julia Wood in chapter 7 (p.180). According to researchers, there are 4 majors reasons why people hesitate to communicate emotions:(1) Social Expectations
‘’[…] what we feel and how we express it are influenced by the culture and social groups to which we belong. Gender socialization seems particularly important in shaping feelings and the expression of them.’’ (Wood, p.180) For example, our culture tends to portray women as caring and supportive people, talking overtly of their feelings. As a woman, not always being able to deal well with my feelings makes me feels out of place, in some situations. I can really tell that social expectations play a major role in my perception of myself when it comes to expressing emotions.
The character of Bree Hodge (Marcia Cross) in Desperate Housewives is the perfect looking woman: she’s always dressed very nice, wearing pearls and acting very nicely, like a real lady (see picture). She looks like the higher expectations we have on how a western woman should behave. In fact, this is very ironic because she actually struggles with expressing her true feelings and consequently, her relationships are very affected by that problem.
(2) Vulnerability
In others words, vulnerability is the fear of self-disclosing to others that could affect their view of us.
(3) Protecting Others
Not expressing emotions can be a choice. The fear to hurt or upset someone’s feelings can overpass the need to express one’s own emotions. However, you must take the time to consider and analyze the situation, because restraining from expressing feelings can cause personal distress.
(4) Social and Professional Roles
‘’A final reason we may not express some feelings is that our roles make it inappropriate’’, argues Julia Wood on page 183.
Personally, I think I am an expressive person in general, but I may not express my feelings with people I don't know well. An example that comes to my mind when I think about it is my internship.
RépondreSupprimerIn the first weeks in my new work, I tend to be very conservative and on guarded with my co-workers. I guess I just felt vulnerable to other's judgment. That was particularly true with me supervisor. I feared that she could lose respect for me or think that I am weak. However, after having working with her for a while and better understand who she really was, I felt more comfortable to express my feelings honestly.
The point is that I think the capability of expressing emotions evolves with time and depends on how much we know the other persons we are interacting with.
For sure!
RépondreSupprimerWe're so alike; same thing actually happened to me with my supervisor. It's probably because of vunerability, but I think it can also falls into social and professional roles. As an intern, it's important to be a good listener and be low-profile, as you're supposed to learn from people with higher status and experiences. I think this can restrain us on expressing our feelings and thoughts that goes against this statement. As time goes by and you learn to work with others and be less pressure by you professional role. Once you overpass this, you feel like you can be more open with your supervisor and you express your thoughts and emotions with very less restriction.